carcinoGangster
by laZardo
Summary: In which Karkat Vantas goes for the money, power, respect, and femtrolls. Troll!Cops AU, rated M for the kind of stuff you expect to happen in a crossover with this particular movie.
1. Chapter 1

**_Original story based on characters created by Andrew Hussie and fanon created on MSPAForums. No for-profit ownership is claimed over them._**

* * *

_Not long after the premiere of Troll!Cops' second season, MSPA Studios brought on acclaimed comics writer Carlos Lazaro to pen the story for a non-canon OVA to help the series appeal to a more mature demographic._

_The result of this effort was the Troll!Cops: Crabface OVA, a four-episode series focusing on the violent rise - and even more violent fall - of Karkat and his Carcino Gang. Featuring a gratuitous amount of violence and profanity (even by Troll!Cops' violence and Karkat's ornery demeanor) and the deaths of established canon characters, MSPA Studios faced a massive backlash from viewers' advocate groups and was forced to recall the OVA before it hit the shelves._

_Although Lazaro reworked the OVA's last sequences to end on a more hopeful note, MSPA Studios sacked him and seized the rights to Crabface. In an act of retribution, Lazaro quietly leaked all four episodes of the OVA to GrisTorrent before leaving, garnering Crabface a cult following. Lazaro has since disowned himself from the work, although MSPAS have offered him repeated opportunities to work on the next feature._

_The following is the OVA's novelization._

* * *

**Saint Andrew's Orphanarium  
****Now**

"Situation is code 2 at Casa Vantas. Containment has been set up in a 5-mile radius."  
"Copy 4-Echo-13, don't turn your back on those bodies. Lab crews should be there in about 10 minutes."

It's a cold, clear night in this sad, old part of town. You're also pretty sure it's also pretty damn quiet out, even though your ears are still ringing from the SHOOTOUT only minutes ago at what was once the NITRAM MANOR. The only thing you can hear apart from the ringing and the wind blowing through these dark, gritty streets is the sound of your own sniveling.

You are OFFICER TEREZI PYROPE and you are feeling PRETTY DAMN SHITTY.

It must obviously have something to do with the THREE CORPSES piled into the back of your ACPD SUV. It's a good thing nobody noticed the way you drove it like you stole it from the 20,000 square foot CRIME SCENE among the city's mansions to this grandiose yet tragic old building bordering the projects. You had to, since you and your partner were the first ones to arrive at the scene of the bloodiest KILLFEST that New Alternia's seen since the days of the GREAT SUFFERING. Right now your partner's making sure the backup's cleaning up all those corpses in the mansion. Keeps all the unwanted heat off.

But there is one person you want to notice you, as you pound on the front door on the building and beg for the one troll you know is inside to answer.

After wearing your hands damn near numb from literally knocking on wood, she answers the door, clad in a slightly shabby nightgown that seems ill-fitted to her royal demeanor. She doesn't seem happy that you woke her up from her sopor slumber, but once she sees what happened to you she gets a look on her face like someone dropped a live wire into her ablution chamber.

"T-ER-EZI! W)(at the s)(ell brings you- w)(at the s)(ell )(APP-ENED TO YOU!"

"TH3R3'S NO T1M3 TO 3XPL41N. YOU H4V3 TO DO SOM3TH1NG!"

You'll have plenty of time to explain the different colors of dried blood on your arms. And that's not counting the blood on your uniform, which under this light remains too dark for anyone to make out. The one thing that she can see, however, are the TURQUOISE TEARS leaking down your face from behind your GLARE-BANS.

")(old on! -Explain w)(at!"

"COM3 ON, YOU H4V3 TO H3LP TH3M OUT!"

You lead her to the back of your SUV and POP THAT TRUNK. You are immediately overwhelmed by the scent of fruit punch gone bad, and without licking her you can tell that it's overwhelmed her too.

"OH D-EAR COD NO." The orphanarium's mother superior GAGS, having been taken COMPLETELY AGHAST at the sight of what you've inventorized in that CLASS LEADING CUBIC FOOTAGE. "They're D-EAD! W)(y...)(ow could you..."

Three FAMILIAR CORPSES in DISTRESSINGLY FANCY CLOTHING have been rather hastily piled up behind the rear seat of your SUV. Were they not DEAD, the way you arranged them might have vaguely resembled some kind of ARCHAIC TROLL MATING RITUAL. However, there is no time to dwell on thoughts of preparing for the arrival of the Imperial Drone.

"I'M SORRY. I TR13D TO STOP THEM BUT..." Instead your thoughts dwell mainly on the fact that you couldn't save your moirail from his doom.

Or rather, you would have been certain he was doomed did you not - in desperation - turn to the one troll you knew had a chance at saving him and what's left of his only friends in the world from their demise. The one troll who'd known all four of you more intimately than your rap sheets since you were first taken into the orphanarium from the pits.

Now Karkat Vantas, Nepeta Leijon, and Gamzee Makara are all dead, and as the fourth, you've taken it upon yourself to come groveling back to Feferi Peixes for forgiveness.

But she's thinking the same way - and not liking any moment of it.

"No. Get t)(em out of )(ere. You s)(ouldn't )(ave gone..." she says, tears mixing in with her anger.

"COM3 ON, M1SS P31X3S!" you plead, "I COULDN'T L34V3 TH3M TH3R3!"

"But did you )(AV-E to bring t)(em )(-ER-E, codclammit?" she snaps back, suddenly as panicked as you are. In the state you're in now, you couldn't possivly have noticed that was a predictable reaction to having the mangled corpses of three loved ones dropped off at your own doorstep. "W)(at if someone FOLLOW-ED you!"

"I H4D TO DO SOM3TH1NG!" If this keeps up, you might end up noticed by more than just Miss Peixes - even though the "neighbors" might not be surprised by the sight of more dead trolls slumped across their sidewalks. "PL34SE...YOU H4V3 TO DO THE L1F3 TH1NG..."

"No, Terezi! I )(AT-E to say this...but t)(hey KN-EW w)(at t)(ey were getting into." Feferi takes a moment to compose herself, before grabbing your shoulders gently. "I'm sorry it )(ad to come to t)(is. I don't even know if I could if I wanted to..."

You know she won't. The fact weighs you down like a SAFE FULL OF BOONBONDS, and drops you to your knees.

Perhaps through having to deal with so many of her own gone bad despite her best efforts, she can at least genuinely sympathize. "I'm sorry. I know we tried but..."

"OH GOG. 1 JUST..." You don't have to taste your tears as you lean on the SUV and try to wipe them away from your eyes.

"It's over now, Terezi...it's all over..." she says, as reassuringly as she did in those literally dark days before you learned to see by taste, "Look, I'll )(elp you find a place to bury t)(em but...you )(have to let go."

She embraces you, but the feeling just isn't there.

"NO, NO! 1T C4N'T 3ND L1K3 TH1S!"

As you cry on the shoulder of the only one you can trust, consumed with unfathomable sorrow, you wonder how it all ever came to this. You know some of this is your fault, you know you could've done more to stop them. You don't know how much of either was yours.

But the one thing you definitely know is that you saw all of this coming. And as you try to figure out how to deal with the consequences, you try to remember - to_ see_ - how it all came to this.

How Karkat Vantas grew from a lowly, suffering street thug to the most powerful gangster in all of New Alternia - if only for a moment. How all that power and fame tore him, his friends, and the city's crime syndicates apart.

And how you were only able to get to him after all the sick fires had burned everything away.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Original story based on characters created by Andrew Hussie and fanon created on MSPAForums. No for-profit ownership is claimed over them._**

* * *

**One Year Ago**

_Newly-promoted Police Chief Arnold Remington made a bold declaration of war at a press conference today, when asked about the wave of street crime that has gripped New Alternia in recent weeks._

_"We will apply the full force of the law to anybody caught in the act or trying to escape from a vicious felony. We will not allow this city to be CONSUMED by UNFATHOMABLE ILLEGALITY, whether through GRAND LARCENY or VIOLENT MURDER._

_To all of you CRIMINAL SCUM watching this, whether human, troll or carapace, we do not want you in your city! We do not need you!"_

_Police Commissioner Niclas Scyonn could not be reached for comment._

* * *

**Somewhere in Downtown New Alternia**

_[Karkat: Abscond]_

Your BLADDER BASED AQUATIC VASCULAR SYSTEM ricochets inside your emaciated ribcage, your arms and legs rotating about their joints to damn near tearing maintaining your SPRINTING VELOCITY. Your GANDERBULBS remain focused straight ahead, occasionally twitching from one side to the other just in case something AMBUSHES you through no fault of their own.

Behind you, your AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS are kept busy with the sound of police sirens in the background. You know that you are all that stands between them and the PRECIOUS LOOT that you cradle in your UPPER BODY APPENDAGES. And you know that this PRECIOUS LOOT, which is really little more than $30 in STORE BRAND MERCH crudely inventorized in a BROWN PAPER SACK, is all that stands between your FRIENDS and another week of STARVATION.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and for the third time this week, you are ABSCONDING FROM THE LAW.

This is something you're used to, of course. Ever since you shoplifted your first SoporBurst drink from a rathole convenience store, barely a few days go by when the law brushes against you. Every now and then, your luck runs out, and you spend a few days in jail for your dirty deeds. And then when you get out you exact a little RETRIBUTION on the business owners that called the law on you. And sometimes, that's how you and your pals land back in jail.

But it's not like you haven't ruffled a few feathers.

"weeooweeooweeooweeoo"

"OH JEGUS FUCK NOT THEM!"

In fact, you've got two officers specifically dedicated to hunting you and your two only friends down. And right now, you have those exact two officers on your tail.

Compared to the usual lawmen they send after you, these two have been able to turn the score in this grand game of cops and robbers back in their favor, and it definitely has something to do with the fact that you grew up with one of them.

The fact is not lost on you as you duck out of the sidewalk into the network of alleyways and side streets that weave a tangled web across much of downtown.

The sirens seem to have faded - though really, Officer Sollux Captor's attempt at being a siren barely matches standard police issue.

You reckon you're probably safe as you catch your breath beside a dumpster. Noxious odors aside, you don't want to suddenly step out onto the street until you're sure they're not lurking around the corner.

After a few minutes of silence, you make your way away from the street to a crosswise alley intersection.

It is a mistake you won't have a chance to regret.

"WHAT THE F-"

The last thing you remember seeing before you're KO'D is the broad side of an SUV pulling a handbrake turn into your noggin.

"H3H3H3 1 TOLD YOU 1T WOULD WORK :]"  
"jegus terezii ii know you're flu2hed 2oliid for thii2 guy but you're gonna kiill hiim iif you keep thii2 2hiit up..."

* * *

**Precinct 13, 4th Street**  
**Several Hours Later**

_[Karkat: Awaken.]_

"well here we are again, kk" he begins as the ringing in your ears and blurry vision clears up. The exasperation is practically dripping from his VOCAL SPHINCTER like MIND HONEY.

"THANKS FOR POINTING OUT THE GOGDAMN OBVIOUS, OFFICER PISSBLOOD." you reply, rubbing the bruise on your face.

The absconding sessions that you lose often involve them winning by inflicting some severe bodily harm on you. So often in fact that not only have you built up an unhealthy tolerance for it, the two-troll task force they dispatch to handle you have you dragged straight to the interrogation cell rather than the hospital because they know you're not gonna be injured enough for the hospice.

As a result, you no longer consider it a stroke of luck that you're not a vegetable after that impact.

"2eriiou2ly kk, we drop your mutant nook for only 30 boonbuck2 iin 2tore merch thii2 tiime? 2eem2 liike your 2tandard2 are..." The lisping officer then adjusts his seemingly 3D style glasses, "droppiing."

You're not sure if it's that lisp or maybe that stupid reference he makes every time he busts you, but you edge pretty damn close to FLIPPING YOUR SHIT.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK MAYBE I'LL MAKE IT EASIER ON YOUR FUCKING CARTILAGE NUBS BY JUST STRAIGHT UP CONFESSING TO THIS BULLSHIT."

"fiine wiith me," he shrugs. "let me ju2t take your 2iide of the 2tory for legal purpo2e2."

Where do you begin?

The recession hasn't been particularly kind to New Alternia. But you've been THOROUGHLY DESTITUTE since the moment you arrived in the ORPHANARIUM after the anarchy of your immediate-post-wriggling existence resulted in your lusus dead and yourself edged out of a place to live. The term 'orphanarium' was actually ripped from the humans - since your lusus was the only thing troll society considers closest to PARENTHOOD.

But it was the day you wandered out of the ORPHANARIUM that you discovered the lives that the ones that found a place actually lived.

Especially those at the top.

It was the day you learned that despite what headmistress Peixes or whatever public school she sent you to might have told you, there is still some kind of a hemospectrum on this gog-forsaken planet. Or rather, there were two. The old RULES OF BLOOD were slowly disappearing under a simple scale - that of how many BOONBUCKS you possessed at any given moment. But to you they all operated under the other Rule of Grist:

Whoever has the Grist, makes the damn rules.

"OH COME THE FUCK ON. HAVEN'T YOU GOT IT THROUGH THAT BIPOLAR THINKPAN OF YOURS THAT YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS BEGINS AND ENDS?"

"that'2 true. that'll 2ave me a lot of bawwiing."

"GOOD. NOW GET ME IN THAT HOLDING CELL AND SPARE ME YOUR LECTURING."

"actually kk the holdiing cell2 are full two the briim riight now"

"FINE JUST LOCK ME IN THE NEXT PRECINCT OVER. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A DAMN?"

The lisping officer with the blinky eyes leans forward. "kk listen to me. you're gonna be locked iin the veiil until-"

"HOLD THE FUCK UP." Now your vascular bladder is starting to act up. The Veil? As in, not the ski resort Veil but the maximum security Veil?

"ii'm sorry kk. ar'2 got every offiicer out roundiing up anybody he thiinks ii2 criimiinal 2cum. and that mean2 that you got arre2ted too late to stay in our cell2 wiithout breakiing the fiire code."

"WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT EVER STOP YOU?"

"not me, but the commii2h diid have hii2 way wiith an offiicer in precii-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE MY GODDAMN PHONE CALL." You believe you're probably at that stage of acceptance where you're trying to bargain your way out of an increasingly hopeless situation.

"fiine by me. ii'll have my partner keep you company whiile ii get you in liine."

"FINE. BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ONE OF YOU FUCKING PREACHING THIS CHURCH OF THE SUFFERER SHIT AT ME."

Sollux's partner is already waiting outside as he leaves. And honestly, her arrival does not make you any more relaxed than you already are. Which is to say, none at all.

"H3H3H3. YOU GOT A CRAB ON YOUR FACE," she cackles, pointing to the bruise on your face. "SM3LLS L1K3 STR4WB3RRY J4M."

The way you got broadsided, that bruise is pretty big, covering most of your cheek. That she knows what it looks like is the only information you have on its specific appearance, since the last reflective surface you remember seeing is the side window of her cruiser.

Officer Terezi Pyrope has had an unhealthy fetish for the law ever since she was first introduced to the RULES back at the ORPHANARIUM. When her PROMISING LAW SCHOOL CAREER was flipped over like a pool table by her BEING BLINDED, she decided to take a more pro-active path by joining the NAPD.

Exactly how her ability to sense by taste made her the best driver on the force is still beyond you. But neither you nor anybody else can hope to beat Terezi at driving. She is simply the best there is.

Still, that is beside the point. Right now, you are stuck in this room with her for the next few minutes.

"WELL IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAD TWO AND A HALF HUMAN TONS OF METAL AND RUBBER ROTATED INTO MY FACE AT TWENTY MILES AN HOUR."

"W3LL 1F YOU H4DNT STOL3N THOS3 GROC3R13S TH3N M4YB3 1 WOULDNT H4V3 H4D TO H1T YOU W1TH MY C4R, WOULD 1?"

She has a point.

"WELL IF I HADN'T HAD TO KEEP MY FRIENDS FROM FUCKING STARVING TO DEATH IN SOME LONELY ALLEYWAY THEN MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO STEAL THAT STORE BRANDED SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE," you seethe anyway.

"4ND DO YOU KNOW 1V3 LOST COUNT OF HOW M4NY T1M3S W3V3 3ND3D UP H3R3 TOG3TH3R L1K3 TH1S B3C4US3 YOU K33P 1NS1ST1NG ON TH4T W4Y OUT?" she exclaims, breaking the backtracking combo like she did with your face. "DONT YOU KNOW TH3R3 4R3 PL3NTY OF L3G4L W4YS OF G3TT1NG OUT OF YOUR PR3D1C4M3NT?

_[Karkat: Flip the fuck out and explain your story for the x-teenth time.]_

You attempt to FLIP THE TABLE, but this fails miserably because they've NAILED IT TO THE FLOOR for such an occasion. That doesn't stop you from EXPLAINING though.

"LIKE FUCK THERE ARE. YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT'S BEEN LIKE FOR ME TO HAVE EVERYONE LOOK AT ME LIKE I WANT TO STEAL THEIR SHIT?"

"W3 GR3W UP TOG3TH3R K4RKL3S," she replies, her creepy cackling grin fading rapidly. "YOU KNOW D4MN W3LL WH4T TH4TS L1K3."

"NO. I'M NOT GOING TO ACCOMODATE THIS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS SHIT. IN FACT I DON'T EVEN GIVE AN INFINITESMAL FRACTION OF A SHIT. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M EVEN GONNA SKIP THE SOB STORY AND GET STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING POINT."

"OK4Y TH3N, L3T'S H34R IT."

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WANTED TO SINK MY CLAWS INTO THE GODDAMN BEDROCK TO CLIMB OUT OF THIS ENDLESS SPIRAL INTO OBLIVION?"

"1 GR3W UP W1TH YOU 4ND 1 3SC4PED."

It sounds almost cliched that two grubhood friends would end up on opposite sides of the law. Maybe it's some SUBLIMINAL HINT that you grew up despising the order she'd come to defend at the same time wanting to be a part of it.

"ONLY BECAUSE THOSE GOGDAMN PIRATES BURNED YOUR FUCKING EYES TO A RUBY CRISP," you retort. "YOU COULD HAVE HAD ALL OF THE FUCKING SCHOLARSHIPS. ALL OF THEM."

She then leans forward so you can see her ruby eyes through her purely-cosmetic shades. And she can probably taste the strawberry sweat beading from your erstwhile smelly hair.

"4ND 1T'S NOT TOO L4T3 FOR YOU 31TH3R, 1S 1T?" she says in an uncharacteristically low tone before sitting back in the chair. "1N 4NY C4S3, 1'V3 GOT N3WS YOU M4Y L1K3."

"FINE. JUST GIVE ME THE BAD NEWS FIRST." You're probably not gonna get that phone call before they dump you in the Veil. "YOU OUGHT TO SEE HOW MUCH LESS OF A SHIT I GIVE COMPARED TO MY LIFE STORY."

"OK4Y K4RKL3S, TH3 B4D N3WS 1S 3V3N THOUGH TH3 STOR3S D3C1D3D NOT TO PURSU3 CH4RG3S 4G41NST YOU 1 ST1LL H4V3 TO HOLD YOU UNTIL TH3Y'V3 F1N1SH3D TH3 P4P3RWORK."

"IN THE FUCKING VEIL." You're shuddering. It's one thing absconding, another aggrieving, and another knowing you're going to spend time in the fucking Veil at the mercy of the lifers. Imagining CERTAIN POLICE DETECTIVES in drag is not as entertaining when you might suffer that fate.

"Y3P. 72 HOURS M1N1MUM."

You take a long sigh. Or seethe. You figure it's close to the latter though you can sense the regret tinging your anger. "OKAY THEN, LET'S GET THE GOOD NEWS OVER WITH."

"TH3R3S 4N OP3N1NG 4T BURG3R K1NG 4ND 1LL S33 WH4T 1 C4N DO 4BOUT G3TT1NG YOU 1N 1F YOU SURV1V3 THOS3 72 HOURS."

Did she just mention Burger King was **good** news? Suddenly, 72 hours in the Veil doesn't seem so bad.

"WAIT THE FUCK UP. DID YOU FUCKING SAY BURGER KING?" Among all the non-fancy businesses in the city, it seems the only place you haven't robbed in recent memory was that one new fast food place on 6th and 12th. And there are plenty of other places you've robbed with more actual meat in their product than Burger King. You'd like to recoil in disgust, but they've nailed the chair down too.

"K4RK4T, L1ST3N. YOU W1LL NOT B3L13V3 HOW CLOS3 1 C4M3 TO B3ND1NG TH3 L4W JUST TO G3T TH3M TO 3V3N TH1NK 4BOUT H1R1NG YOU."

"I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW BENT YOUR FUCKING THOUGHTSPONGE ENCLOSURE MUST BE TO EVEN GIVE SOME SEMBLANCE OF CONSIDERATION HOW MUCH THEY REALLY WANT ME THERE."

"1T'S 31TH3R TH4T OR SP3ND MOR3 TH4N S3V3NTY-TWO HOURS 1N TH3 V31L. 1TLL B3 YOUR S3COND STR1K3 1F W3 L3T TH3M PR3SS CH4RG3S."

Fuck. You forgot about that new law. Imported straight from Da Coast, Commissioner AR had tightened the law to include pretty much any conviction that wasn't a jaywalking ticket. And that meant that you'd be looking at being a regular contributor to the pits if you kept this up.

"TEREZI, I-"

"hey rez, sorry to dii2appoint but your matespriit'2 riide ii2 here."

"H3'S NOT MY M4T3SPR1T." she snaps back.

"SHE'S NOT MY MATESPRIT." you say, at approximately the same time.

"J1NX!" she then shouts, before cackling again.

"oh come on rez, the2e guy2 are from the veiil and they don't want to be kept waiitiing."

You can feel yourself swallowing a cannonball. You subconsciously figure it's PRACTICE for whatever the guards may do with you to "prepare" you for your imminent stay.

"DONT WORRY. S3V3NTY-TWO HOURS 1S 3NOUGH T1ME TO TH1NK 1F YOU C4N SURV1V3. S33 YOU SOON, K4RKL3S!" she cackles as she and her partner help you up and move out.

Your last glimpse of what was once freedom before the guards shut the door on you is her wave. And her smile.

You gulp and look to the side as the van accelerates away, imagining your imminent lodgings. If the rumors were true, there were only three items in each of the Veil's individual crawl spaces: the double bunk bed, a transportalizer for sanitation purposes and a pail.

The pails are only included for cells where both occupants are trolls.

From this horrifying vision you specifically recall from some living-being-rights tinker bullshit that AT LEAST TWENTY PERCENT of the genetic material fed back into the pits have to come from the Veil. Hell, if they didn't have to deal with human and Carapace prisoners in the same building, you surmise that they could even put the Drones out to pasture for good AND make a tidy profit off turning the place into some kind of breeding ground.

Prisons for profit? That sounds like a rather far-fetched idea for you, and at the same time something you could definitely get into if you weren't busy worrying about your imminent time as an prisoner instead of as a warden.

This now put you between the PROVERBIAL ROCK and the EQUALLY PROVERBIAL HARD PLACE. This time you needed to use your ENTIRE THINKPAN to decide which way out you wanted. That is, whether you wanted to be a contributor to the pits - or swallow your rage and become a contributor to society at large.

_[Karkat: Decide.]_

You tug the collar of your shirt just enough that you can just pull up the CHARM around your neck. You're not exactly surprised that Terezi didn't confiscate it this time.

It's the logo of the so-called CHURCH OF THE SUFFERER, which you figure from what little you've heard about this cult and its head is probably some kind of cult. Either way, you seriously cannot recall being prosecuted for membership in said cult, but you've worn it under a shirt that bears the same logo in the same gray for a long time, so you tolerate its presence.

This time though, it seems to cause you to SERIOUSLY CONSIDER MAKING A LIFE CHOICE.

You're pretty sure your friends would actually support you if you chose the job. After all, it's a LAWFUL job with a LAWFUL paycheck. You could even be eligible for benefits after a couple of months.

But you don't know if it's worth the humiliation. Just because the boonbuck high score defines the new hierarchy of things doesn't mean the old ones have gone away. Even if you're pretty sure you're about the only troll in the city with the exact same shade of bright red blood as a human (and you're not sure if she convinced the folks that you're not a human disguising yourself as a troll), it's still red to everyone else. That is, lowblood red. Probably even lower than lowblood red.

Like, so-low-it-fell-off-the-scale-and-that's-why-it's-not-classified red.

For all your experience, you've suffered plenty enough of that.

But would it still be worth it to spend a stretch in the Veil?

All you've got is your BULGE, your INCESSANT PROFANITY, and your DIGNITY. Losing the latter would only make the first two as valuable as your pain reflexes will allow when some LIFER is violating your NOOK for his own sick pleasure.

Truth is, you can't decide now. But you've got a 72-HOUR TASTE TESTER to make up your mind and decide which fate is less horrible.

Fortunately, you won't take all of those hours to do so.

* * *

**The Veil  
Later That Day**

_[Karkat: Brace yourself.]_

This is it. The beginning of the next 72 hours of your worthless mutant existence and nothing but an endless expanse of gray to show for it.

The ORANGE JUMPSUIT you've been fitted with chafes a little against your DERMAL LAYERS as you continue your SOLEMN MARCH to your designated HOLE IN THE WALL. You suspect they've been manufactured with CHEAP SUBSTITUTE MATERIAL in order to make sure no prisoner goes into their cells buck naked.

What happens _after_ the newly-processed enter one of the SEEMINGLY ENDLESS ROWS OF CELLS that go on before you is something Terezi would probably describe as producing some kind of exotic cheese and party drink festival.

You can just feel their gazes on you as you walk by. They're sizing you up, scheduling sessions with your TENDER NOOK without them even saying a word. Some of them laugh, some of them point. Most just glare at you, smiling. Some are trolls, but others are humans looking for that proverbial WALK ON THE WILD SIDE. And a few of them are carapaces. Prospitian or Dersite, they all just want to take out their RAGE on - or in - something.

You know you have no choice regarding your fate. The only thing you can gamble on is _how_ that fate will be administered to you, and how much your ORNERY DEMEANOR will stall the inevitable.

"Sector 11, Row 11, Cell 11. Welcome to your new home, Vantas." The way this masked trooper almost robotically designates your shared space convinces you that he's probably a badly-disguised Imperial Drone mandating you to fill your societal duty via the included pail.

As you turn to face your cell and prepare to take in (metaphorically and literally) the occupant/s you will spend the next three days of your life with, you wonder if maybe they'd dropped a MATESPRIT pail in your cell instead of the usual KISMESIS bucket.

"HoLy mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHiT, iF It iSn't mY BeSt bRo!"

"omg karkitty! you're safe!"

"JEGUS MCBUTTFUCK. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO LOCKED IN HERE?"

Before they can answer, the guard shoves you into the cell with such force that you faceplant on the hard concrete floor.

"Good thing you know each other, that'll make it a little quieter when that pail gets filled." The guard chuckles darkly before getting back to his usual patrol duties.

The sight of the only two people you could consider "FRIENDS" as you get up is an unpleasant surprise, but given that some burly lowblood lifer with a RAGING TENTABULGE was your idea of _'not_ surprising,' that isn't saying much.

The other two trolls you grew up with in the orphanarium have also stuck by your side through all your small fortune and abundant misfortune. And for whatever reason, from needing accomplices or a shoulder to cry on, you've stuck by Gamzee Makara and Nepeta Leijon despite their...quirks.

"i thought our plan to split up would work, but fur some reason it didn't!" Nepeta replies, her green irises seeming to fill the yellows in her eyes for a moment in her eerie adoregret.

"LeAsT We'rE AlL Up iN HeRe nOw. AnD AlL ToGeThEr nOw? MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClEs." You will never understand how this clown keeps finding miracles in misfortune. But you do kinda wish you had his outlook on life although you don't want to know how he seems to always be smiling under his dried, smeared makeup.

"AND THAT MEANS WE'RE SPENDING THE NEXT SEVENTY-TWO HOURS TOGETHER. JUST FUCKING DANDY."

Give or take shower time. Oh gog, you just remembered shower time. The moment you drop the soap you and your two fresh meat friends will end up curled up and sobbing on the tile dripping with rainbows and cream before the soap hits the ground.

The mention of time seems to cause Gamzee to raise an eyebrow though.

"HeLl dO YoU MeAn sEvEnTy-tWo, BeSt fRiEnD? i fIgUrE MoRe lIkE TwEnTy fOuR."

And that causes you to raise an eyebrow.

"TWENTY FOUR HOURS?" You know full well that although some of the best plans are hatched from insanity, Gamzee's not really that type of insane.

Or rather, at least you haven't seen him really insane since he's always drugged up on wherever he can find sopor to make into his carny cakes. And since there's no way he can get that here, well...there's a first time to experience everything.

"BuDdY Of mInE HaTcHeD Up a lItTlE SoMeThInG SoMeThInG ThAt's gOnNa gEt uS OuT Of tHiS SlIcE Of tHe iNfErNo."

You didn't know he had buddies. Then again, they've been here a few minutes more than you did, so maybe he made himself a friend.

"w33 can get out of this litterbox soon, karkitty!" Nepeta's face brightens. She seems to have bought into it, but do you?

_[Karkat: Buy into it.]_

One day instead of three? This could be very, very promising indeed. And hell, if whatever Gamzee's planning falls through, it's not like they have anywhere else to put you apart from in a bodybag.

Still, while you'd prefer not to stink so bad, you definitely do not want to spend any more 'shower times' here. Or end up in a body bag.

You've made up your mind about your future, and it starts with shutting the fuck up and listening.

"OKAY THEN, BEST FUCKING FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. TELL ME HOW WE'RE GONNA GET OUTTA HERE IN A DAY."

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

_Author's Note: Apparently I'm not that good at quirks. ;-; Hope you can withstand the cruise control._


End file.
